If You're Gonna Steal A Truck And Lead The Cops On A High Speed Chase While Having Heroin Needles On You, This Is The Correct Shirt To Wear

BADEN, Pa. — A police officer was thrown to the ground Tuesday night as a man tried to get away in a stolen truck in Beaver County, according to authorities. Police said they were called to a Sheetz in Baden on a report of retail theft. They said the suspect drove off, prompting a chase that lasted about 15 minutes. Surveillance video shows an officer getting caught up in the window of the truck as the driver, Michael Emrick, pulled away from the gas station, causing the officer to be thrown to the ground. Chief David Christner said the officer was not seriously hurt, but it could have been much worse. The chase ended when Emrick crashed into a shed in Frank Roppos’ back yard. “I was just going down to sleep and then I heard a big boom and looked out and saw it,” Roppos said. Emrick, who was wearing a T-shirt with the words “Really good at making really bad decisions,” was arrested and found with suspected heroin needles and drug paraphernalia, police said.

I really like to imagine Michael Emrick has the sort of self awareness and sense of humor where he wore that shirt on purpose. Is that asking too much from a grand theft auto-committing heroin addict?  Hope not. If Bubbles from The Wire taught me anything it’s not to judge a book by it’s cover.  Bubs was one of the smartest and most clever dudes in the whole show. He just so happened to have a crippling addiction to Pandemic and WMD. That’s why I like to picture Michael standing in front of the closet in his trailer like, “I’m gonna do some stupid shit today. Stuff that might get me arrested.  I’m thinking I’ll pack up my heroin needles, steal a truck and take the cops on a high speed chase. Juuuuuuuust in case that happens, I want my mug shot to be HILARIOUS. Oh shit, can’t forget my gold chain.” And off he goes into the world to commit some crimes. Plausible?  I think so. That, or all of his shirts are the Walmart- type shirts that say things like, “I’m In Shape. Round Is A Shape” and “I’m with stupid” That might be a more solid bet now that I think about it.